Daddy Needs to Get Laid
by Arawna
Summary: Draco's twin daughters are almost too evil for this world. They only want to see their father happy for a change and will stop at nothing for that to happen, even if it involves maniacal antics to get their DADA teacher to fall in love with Draco.
1. Platform Nine and Three Quarters

Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.

A/N: This is a fic response to the Sinlge Father Challenge by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technically, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.

Platform Nine and Three Quarters:

"You sure you'll be okay?" Draco asked for the millionth time that morning as they stood amongst the many other parents saying good-bye to their own children on Platform 9 ¾. He didn't think even his own parents felt the same anxiety he felt at that moment, counting down the seconds 'til he would have to say farewell to his daughters for the first time in their lives.

Twin pairs of arctic-gray eyes rolled in a mirrored fashion.

"Gods, father, you need to get laid," one girl said in an exasperated tone.

"Isabella!" Draco scolded. "I don't see how that has any relevance here! Not to mention that was too vulgar for a young lady of eleven to say, especially for a Malfoy!"

She 'harrumphed' and crossed her arms, not even caring that a lock of white-blonde hair fell across her face. It was a shock to Draco that the girls had inherited his delicate features, from the soft, pale skin, to the silver eyes, because their mother was a Beauxbaton girl from France with olive skin and dark hair. He hadn't particularly thought she was attractive, but her family was pureblood and it was his father that had originally arranged the marriage, so he had no choice in the matter. However, the midnight black hair and bright green eyes made it easier for him to copulate the marriage and create the two beautiful girls in front of him.

"You can't blame her, daddy," the other girl spoke up. "You haven't been in a relationship since mother died and that's been…how old are we? Oh, eleven years. Do us a favor and find a…boyfriend."

"Gabriella!" he scolded the other twin. "I will not tolerate your childishness."

"You can't blame her, father," Isabella mimicked her sister's words. "We know about the-" she began to tick items off on her fingers. "Magazines. Muggle videos, and the television and VCR for that matter. Your shopping sprees are worse than most women's; you shouldn't pay that much attention to thread count when you have a Y chromosome. You spend longer in the bathroom getting ready than Alex's mom does; and she _has_ to look good because she works at the Ministry. You don't; you do it purely out of wanting to look good. Face it, father, you're gay."

Well, Draco knew he was gay, he knew for a _long_ time, but he wanted to wait 'til the girls were older before _they_ found out.

"Merlin," he sighed, shaking his head. "If you two don't get into Slytherin, then it just means that you are too evil for this world."

Both girls looked giddy at this piece of news. "Does this mean we can take over the world?"

"No!" Draco exclaimed through a laugh. "We don't need any more Voldemorts on our hands."

"But we wouldn't be like him, daddy," Gabriella explained. "We would merely force everyone into slavery. No one would die. Promise."

The girls started pouting here, jutting out identical, full bottom lips and fluttering matching silver eyelashes. They chorused, "Please."

"No," he said sternly. "And that's the last that I want to hear about it."

"Fine," the twins sighed in unison.

With the conversation abruptly stopped and his nerves not quite so on-edge, Draco glanced around the crowd of parents and children. Almost at once, he spotted a blur of tell-tale red accompanied by a bushy haired head and a black haired head.

"Ugh, Potter and his cronies," he sneered, adverting his eyes.

Isabella and Gabriella shared an almost knowing glance and a roll of the eyes before fixing their father with a hard stare.

"What?" he asked.

"You like him," the said in unison.

"Who?"

"Harry Potter."

"I do not!" their father exclaimed.

"All the lead men in the videos have dark hair and/or green eyes and all the doggy eared pages in the magazines are of men with the same features." Isabella told her father, smirking. As if he didn't already know that. "Amazing how a man with the very same eyes and hair is standing right over there, and you just so happened to go to Hogwarts with him. That's an interesting piece of information, isn't it Gabi?"

"Yes it is, Izzi," Gabriella answered, her own smirk mirroring her sister's.

"Oh Merlin," Draco sighed, placing his hands on his hips in a very effeminate way and looking out over the crowd once again. "I am raising evil incarnate. There's no other way to explain it."

The girls were about to fire off another keen observation, no doubt, when a squeal and flung arms engulfed Draco.

"Draco! How have you been?" the woman shrieked before pulling back to eye the girls. "And how are you two. Gods, I haven't seen you since you were little; my, you two have grown into beautiful young ladies!"

"Thank you, Aunt Pansy," they chimed.

"Heath, get over here and say hi to Draco, Izzi, and Gabi," Pansy said over her shoulder. A boy of eleven with dark hair and darker eyes stepped out from behind Pansy's robes, offering a silent hello to the trio.

"And how you've grown into a fine young man, Heath," Draco praised. "With time, you may be able to marry one of my girls."

Three noses wrinkled in disgust at the thought. The two parents laughed at the children.

"And how's Theodore?" Draco asked.

"Oh, he's fine," Pansy answered. "He's still working at the Ministry and all that." She placed a hand on Draco's upper arm. "What about you, meet anyone lately?"

His eyes shifted and he quickly became fascinated with the hem of his sleeve.

"It's been eleven years, and he still hasn't gotten laid," Isabella offered with another roll of her silver eyes.

"ISABELLA!" Draco scolded. Pansy tried unsuccessfully to hide her giggles behind one hand as her son stared at the girl in horror and clutched at his mother's robes.

The scolded girl turned to her sister. "I tell the truth and get yelled at. What incentive is there for me to _not_ lie?"

Gabriella shrugged her shoulders. "It'll make you fell better?"

"Definitely not," Isabella answered, shaking her head.

Draco might had further reprimanded the girls, but a whistle blew somewhere over head, signaling five minutes left 'til departure.

"Well, I guess you three should go find seats," Draco sighed. He placed a kiss on each platinum head and hugged both girls. "I'll miss you two."

"So will we," they chorused, each adding their 'father' or 'daddy' at the end.

The girls and Pansy's son turned and made their way toward the train.

"Izzi, Gabi," Draco called after them. "Don't sit with anyone with red hair and freckles!"

Pansy snickered beside him and the girls waved over their shoulders, acknowledging that they heard him.

"Yeah, that would be just like you, Malfoy, to start rivalries before they even met," a voice came from behind him.

Pansy and Draco turned to confront the entire Weasley clan plus Potter and Granger. Well, it wasn't the _entire_ Weasley clan, since they'd had their own losses when Voldemort was defeated almost thirteen years ago.

"I don't recall him telling the girls to hex the daylights out of the mini-Weasleys," Pansy bit back. "He simply told them not to sit next to them." She looked the closest ginger - who just so happened to be Ronald - up and down. "I should have told Heath the same."

"Why you," Potter seethed, stepping forward. Instantly, Granger's hand shot out to restrain him.

"Harry, don't. Are you willing to jeopardize your job over some meaningless altercation in the middle of the platform?" Granger asked, tightening her grip on his arm.

"No," he answered, still glaring daggers at the ex-Slytherins.

"Okay then, let's just keep moving," she continued. "Or you'll be late."

With that, the group walked away. Draco stared after them, misery shadowing his eyes.

"You still love him, don't you?" Pansy asked without taking her eyes from the group.

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter, he obviously still hates me."

Silently, Pansy pulled him into a comforting hug, smoothing his hair in a calming way. His arms hung around her waist, more for support than to return the hug. They stood this way for a good many minutes while the rest of the platform slowly emptied. Finally, Draco pushed himself away, offering Pansy a halfhearted smile.

"The girls found my stash," he said softly, not meeting his friend's eyes.

"You mean..?" Pansy giggled.

Embarrassed, Draco nodded, causing her giggling to evolve into all out laughter.

"You know, if your girls don't end up in Slytherin, then it means they're too evil, and the world as we know it is screwed," Pansy gasped.

"Those were my thoughts exactly," Draco replied.


	2. The Sorting

Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.

A/N: This is a fic response to the Single Father Challeng by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technicallly, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.

The Sorting

Isabella and Gabriella didn't act overcome by the castle like the rest of the first years, including Heath, because they were Malfoys, and Malfoys don't stare, or so they were told. Instead, they looked around nonchalantly with bored expressions on their faces. Doing this was actually easier than it looked, because no one was causing mayhem anywhere, so it _was_ boring.

An old witch wearing a tartan headed the group of first years, calling out what was expected of them before they entered the Great Hall. The twins rolled their eyes as everyone else stared on in rapt attention. A rustle of red caught Gabi's eye. It only took a second for her eyes to widen in horror and to pull at her sister's robe sleeve.

"Izzi, we aren't the only twins this year," she said in a harsh whisper. Izzi glanced around, finding the offending pair of twins at once.

"And they're _Weasleys_," Izzi whispered back.

Before they could utter another harsh whisper, the crowd gave a sudden surge forward, toward the Great Hall.

The high ceiling grasped the attention of the first years in their group, eliciting gasps of amazement from them. None of the children had ever seen anything so expansive, unless of course, they were the children of one Draco Malfoy, but since only two qualified for that, only two weren't really impressed. Ignoring the charmed ceiling, Izzi and Gabi looked around the room, noticing how the Slytherin and the Gryffindor tables were at opposite sides of the room with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff in between the two. Of course, it was between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables that the first years had to file down before coming to a stand in front of a raised dais. Many elderly wizards were seated at the table on the dais with the exception of a greasy haired man, and the woman who was directing the group.

"Look, it's Uncle Severus," Gabi said, pointing to the standing behind the podium-like object.

"But we can't call him that here, remember what father said?" Izzi replied. "Here, he's either Headmaster or Professor Snape."

"I know," her twin sighed.

Their conversation was forced to stop right then, because the obviously Scottish witch before them had called for silence. Instantly, all the students at the tables halted their own conversations and turned to face the woman. With a dramatic flick of her wrist, the scroll she had been holding unfurled and she began to read aloud.

"Laura Boot."

A scrawny girl with soft brown curls stepped up onto the dais and took the proffered seat. When she was situated on the stool, an old, ratty hat was placed upon her head.

"Ravenclaw," Gabi said in unison with the hat.

"Christopher Crabbe."

A tank of a boy stomped over and sat on the stool.

"Slytherin," Izzi called with the hat.

"Lucas Goyle."

Yet another tank took the seat.

"Slytherin," Gabi said in a singsong way.

"Sarah Longbottom."

A slightly cubby girl took her own turn with the hat.

"Hufflepuff," Izzi yawned.

"Gabriella Malfoy."

Gabi made a show in stepping up onto the dais and sitting on the stool in a such way that would make her Drama Queen of a daddy proud.

The hat hadn't even touched her white-blonde hair before it called, "Slytherin."

Pouting, she made her way over to the awaiting table of silver and green.

"Isabella Malfoy."

Izzi mimicked her sister in everyway, including the hat not touching her before it called, "Slytherin."

And just like her sister, she walked away pouting.

"Guess we're not evil enough to take over the world if we're only as evil as Salazar himself," Gabi said in a disappointed tone.

"Guess not," Izzi agreed with an exasperated sigh.

"Heath Nott," the old witch continued.

"Hufflepuff," Gabi stated, resting her head on the heal of her hand.

"Brandon Weasley."

One Weasley twin walked up and plopped down on the stool, then, to the surprise of most, so did the other one. They both sat on the stool and pulled the hat down over their heads.

"Gryffindor," the Slytherin twins chorused.

Looking slightly displeased, the woman ignored the whoops from the boys as they made their way to the red and gold table.

"Katherine Zabini."

A dark-skinned girl sat on the stool with a poise only second to the Malfoy girls'.

"Ravenclaw," Izzi whispered in a bored tone.

The old witch walked around the table to take her own seat at the staff table, at which point, the headmaster continued.

"I am pleased to welcome all of you back for another year," Severus said in a flat tone. "I am also pleased to announce that we have a new staff member to add to our ranks. As many of you know, Professor Lupin retired at the end of last year to vacation with his wife." Severus seemed to grimace at this. "Taking his place as Defense Against the Dark Arts is going to be one Harry Potter."

Clapping and cheering emitted from all tables, even the Slytherin. Izzi and Gabi, however, were too busy looking at the man who rose from his seat with malicious glee to bother with clapping or cheering.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" one twin asked the other.

"Of course, I always am," the other twin answered with a smirk.

"Also, he will be replacing Professor McGonagall as the Gryffindor Head of House," Severus continued. Again, the Gryffindor table cheered and clapped. "But don't fret, she will still remain here as you Transfigurations professor." He continued with his little speech, until, at last, he declared that it was time to start the feast.

As the twins started to serve themselves dinner, the second year that was sitting across from them chose that moment to try to start up a conversation.

"So, Malfoys, eh?" he asked.

"Yeah, so what of it?" the sneered together. Sneering was considered something Malfoys should know how to do, even if they don't use it often, like their father. They, on the other hand, liked to sneer at poor helpless plebians.

"Nothing, just hoping that you don't go insane like your grandfather," he shrugged. "I would hate do die so young."

"Our grandfather was an evil bastard who we have never, and will never, aspire to be," Izzi bit out. "And if mental issues are in the genes, then I'll make sure you're the first on my list of my 'insane random' killing spree."

"Now I can't have that," a deep voice drawled behind them. "I don't particularly wish to visit my two favorite witches in Azkaban."

Turn, jump, throw yourself at your father's godfather. They were Malfoys, they could do anything with an air of poise.

"How are you, Izzi, Gabi?" Severus asked, holding both girls close.

"Fine, Uncle Sev-er, I mean, Professor Snape," Gabi giggled. The second year who had been talking with them blanched as he saw just how close the twins were with the headmaster.

"Oh, no, go ahead and call me Uncle if you want. If the other students don't like it, hex 'em," he said with a smirk.

The boy blanched further.

"Really?" the girls asked excitedly, their faces lighting up.

"No," Severus said, chuckling. "But you can call me Uncle."

Both girls slumped against him.

"Well, you're no fun," Izzi pouted.

"As headmaster, I am responsible for all these brats," he said. "And as such, I cannot legally condone the use of hexes on my students."

"Fine," Gabi and Izzi sighed in unison.

"Well, I just came over to wish you a welcome to school and my House," Severus stated, releasing the girls. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go eat. See you two later."

"Bye, Uncle," they said together, each standing on the bench so they could both kiss him on either cheek.

"Have fun, but don't get into trouble," he warned before leaving them to their own devices.

"There he goes, acting like father again and ruining our fun," Izzi pouted.

Gabi waggled her index finger at her sister. "He said, 'don't get into _trouble_'. How can we get in trouble if we don't get caught?"


	3. Malfoy Rule 1

Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.

A/N: This is a fic response to the Single Father Challenge by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technically, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.

Malfoy Rule 1 - Always Make a Good First Impression

The next morning found the twins in a classroom in the heart Gryffindor territory. It was no more pleasant to be in there than it was to watch their father go shoe shopping. Honestly, weren't _they_ the ones that were supposed to get excited over their excursions to the Wizarding mall?

True to Slytherin nature, they sat at the back of the class with the rest of the Slytherins whilst the Gryffindors sat at the front.

"Hello class, I'm Professor Potter and I'm here to teach you how to defend against the Dark Arts," Potter called from the front of the class room.

"Like we didn't know _that_," Izzi whispered sarcastically to her sister who nodded in agreement.

Having caught the sound of whispers, Potter turned to stare at the Slytherin twins. "Did you have a question, Isabella?"

She was about to sneer 'no' at him when an opportunity presented itself to her. Being both Slytherin and a Malfoy, she had this undeniable need to take opportunity when it knocked. Smirking to her sister, who smirked back, she turned toward her professor.

"Yes, I do, actually. Are you seeing anyone currently?"

"Excuse me?" Potter asked.

"Are you currently in a relationship?" Gabi clarified.

"I don't see how this is any concern of yours," Potter stated.

The twins shared a nod. "Is it that Weaslette?"

"I still fail to see the relevance," he stammered. "And don't call her that."

The girls sighed and rolled their eyes. "Did you know, that black goes better with white than it does with red?"

"What?"

They nearly growled their annoyance. "Exactly what I said. Black goes better with white than it does with red. Basic fashion sense; which you obviously have, seeing as how you swing both ways."

"Why the fuck do you say that?" Potter questioned.

"Language, Professor," Gabi chided as Izzi continued.

"You exude it," she explained. "You may say that you like this girl - this _Weasel _girl - but deep down in your heart, you really want a smoking hot bloke. I can see it in your eyes. I guess it only helps that I'm clairvoyant. Go on, deny it."

Potter sputtered at the front of the class as every eleven-year-old Slytherin and Gryffindor fixed him with an expecting gaze. Well, the _other_ twins were sniggering to themselves, but they're beyond help anyway. Finally finding himself, he stared down at the pale faced girl who outed him in front of his first class.

"Alright!" he exclaimed to the class in an exasperated tone. "I fancy men as well as women. Happy?"

Gabi giggled as Izzi broke out into hysterics.

"What's so funny now, Isabella?" Potter asked, placing his hands on his hips.

This did nothing to improve Izzi's current state. Instead, Gabi explained. "One: you look like a ponce standing like that." Instantly, Potter's hands were removed from his hips. "And two: she was joking. She's not clairvoyant, and neither am I. And she just manipulated the hell out of your arse!"

Everyone in the class began laughing at this if they hadn't already done so…Well, the only ones that had started laughing at this point were the pairs of twins.

"Twenty points from Slytherin for language and other fifty for causing a disruption. I am also going to have a word with you two after class," he reprimanded, turning to the chalkboard and attempted to start the lesson.

He didn't get too far.

"Hey Uncle Harry, Auntie won't be happy when she finds out about this," claimed one or the other Gryffindor twin, wiping away a tear that had been born from his laughter. The professor spun on his heel to look at his friends' ginger children.

"Landon, don't tell Ginny. She'd kill me," he pleaded with the boy.

This statement sent Izzi into even more bouts of laughter. This time, Gabi joined her in her hysterics.

Potter placed one hand on his right hip before catching himself and hastily removing it once again. Instead, he employed his newly acquired Potter Death Glare - seemingly only second to that of the Malfoy Death Glare. "What's so funny now, girls?"

Gabi pointed at him. "You-you don't wear the pants in your relationship with the Weaslette!"

This caused the whole of the class to laugh with renewed vigor.

"Stop it this instant!" the professor attempted to calm the class. "I will give you all detention!"

"Aw, he's trying to be authoritative," Izzi cooed through her laughing. "He's cute when he's trying to be authoritative, wouldn't you agree, Gabi?"

"Indubitably," Gabi agreed in a gasp.

"Gods, you two aren't first years," Potter stated. "You're demons!"

"Do you still want to see us demonic children after class, Potter?" Gabi asked as the last of her giggles poured from her lips.

"YES!" he exclaimed. "And don't call me 'Potter'! It's Professor, Professor Potter, or sir, got that?"

"Okay, Professor Professor Potter," giggled Izzi.

-------------

"I don't see how anyone could raise two beautiful little girls and make them have such horrid personalities," Potter commented when the last of the students had left the classroom.

"He called us beautiful," Gabi whispered with a smirk to her sister.

"I noticed," Izzi answered, her own smirk donning her lips.

"What do you suppose we're supposed to take from that statement?" Gabi asked, still smirking.

"That he's a pedophile," Izzi replied, giggling. "And here _he_ was afraid to be alone in the same classroom as _us_ demonic monsters."

"Well, I was thinking-" Gabi started, giggling with her sister.

"That if he thinks we're beautiful, he may think father's beautiful, too," Izzi finished.

Gabi smiled maliciously and nodded.

Potter, unaware of their conversation, stood from his desk and moved toward the twins. Instantly, Izzi had her hands out in front of her, her index fingers making a cross.

"Stay away, pedophile," she said in a serious tone. If it weren't for the fact that Gabi was giggling next to her, someone _might_ had taken her seriously.

"What?" asked Potter.

Izzi just stared back at him, a false panic spreading across her face.

"Merlin, you girls are just like your father," Potter sighed, shaking his head.

"How so? Beautiful? Smart? An obviously excellent shag?" Izzi offered, playing into any overdramatic role that any Malfoy would be jealous of.

"What!?"

"I said 'an obviously excellent snag'," smirked Izzi. "Like I'd make someone a great girlfriend someday, just like father would make someone a great boyfriend right now."

"That's not - never mind," he resigned. "Anyway, I was thinking more along the lines of annoying, overdramatic, and excessively manipulative."

The girls nodded as he named each negative quality. When he finished, they looked at each other.

"Does that sound like the daddy you know?" Gabi asked, cocking her head to one side.

"Why, no, it doesn't sound like _my_ father," Izzi emphasized.

"Then you aren't the children of Draco Malfoy," Potter shrugged.

Both Gabi and Izzi gasped at the accusation. "We are not bastards!"

"No but you father is," he commented idly.

"I do believe that he has his father's eyes and that nine months after the marriage had come and gone before he was even _thought_ of!" Izzi exclaimed melodramatically, despite that she knew he wasn't talking about that.

"In the other sense of the word, Isabella," their professor sighed.

"I know," she shrugged. "Just making a point. And anyway, he's not that kind of bastard, either."

"You can't tell me that he's changed _that_ much the eleven and a half years since I saw him last," Potter spat. "What I remember, he was a bloody git in our seventh year, and that was even _after_ I'd killed Voldemort. What would make him change?"

"Us," the girls said in unison as if it were the most obvious answer.

Potter quirked an eyebrow and drawled, "You two demons? Doubt it."

"You stole Uncle Severus' eyebrow quirk!" Izzi exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at her teacher.

Potter sighed and rolled his eyes. Waving one hand at them while the other pinched the bridge of his nose, he ordered, "Just-just go. It was a nice little chat, but you two are worse than your father."

"Are we supposed to take that as a compliment?" Gabi asked.

"I wouldn't, since it's not that hard to be worse than father nowadays," Izzi replied. "With him all soft from lovesickness." She sighed melodramatically. "If only the one he loved would just love him back, then we may be able have the arse we keep hearing about as a father."

"OUT!"


	4. Good Business

Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.

A/N: This is a fic response to the Single Father Challenge by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technically, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.

Good Business

Izzi and Gabi just wouldn't let Potter get any peace, between practical jokes during the practical portion of class and playing twenty questions in front of whole groups of students and teachers. Many of the students found amusement in their antics, especially when said antics would land them both with detention, which they _never_ showed up for. After all, they were Malfoys, and Malfoys shouldn't be expected to do manual labor. It also didn't hurt that they had connections with the top of the food chain.

It was one such evening in the middle of November that they were walking toward the Dungeons from their last class: History of Magic. Walking around the outskirts of Gryffindor territory, they spotted a certain Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher walking toward his classroom from Merlin knows where, concentrating on the open book in his hands. The girls snickered to each other as they covered their tell-tale blonde hair with the hoods of their school robes and slid into the shadows.

"Watch this," Izzi snickered, pulling her willow wand from her robes and pointing it to another shadowed corner of the corridor. "_Homvizum_."

"Izzi," Gabi giggled at her sister. "I think they have rules against those kind of spells."

"Oh, do they?" her twin shrugged. "I must had missed that part of the syllabus."

Potter didn't seem to notice the unnatural mist that formed in the shadows as he continued down the corridor toward said mist. His _Potter Sense_ - a poor substitute for the _Spidey Sense_ - never tingled as the mist began to condense and take shape. Hell, his eyes didn't even lift from the damned book as a figure stepped from the shadows and into his path.

"Harry." It was just above a whisper and Potter almost missed it in his concentration. Finally lifting his eyes, he was both startled and entranced by the sight before him. An emerald green button-up shirt hung from frail shoulders with two buttons undone at the very top, showing creamy skin laid over a defined collar bone, and sleeves puffing at the wrists. The shirt's tails were tucked into almost illegally tight black, leather trousers, which disappeared into the tops of calf-high riding boots. Potter almost couldn't believe his eyes that standing before him was-

"Malfoy?" he asked the figure.

Draco nodded, a motion that caused white-blonde locks to dance around his silver brow.

"What are you doing here?" Potter asked, trying to keep his green eyes focused on the other man's face.

The blonde worried his bottom lip for a moment with his teeth as he seemed to search for the right words. Instantly, green eyes were watching as the pearly white teeth caused the lip to become a delightful shade of pink. "It's been so long since I've last seen you."

Brought back to reality, Potter shifted his eyes to glare into silver pools. "If you wanted to see me to much, you could've gone out and bought a poster. Merlin knows there are enough of them out there."

"But it wouldn't have been enough. Looking into printed eyes is nothing like gazing into those same emerald orbs in person. Those posters do nothing for your true allure." The words poured from Draco's mouth almost instantly; there was no need to look for the proper words when they were always on the tip of his tongue.

This had not been the reply that Potter had been expecting. Any remark or retort he had been thinking of instantly flew out the window and he was left speechless.

Draco, having found opportunity in his silence, took a hesitant step toward the professor. Gaining confidence as he took another step, he came to stand directly in front of Potter, who was still frozen from shock and speechless.

"You're the last thought in my head when I slip into sleep each night, and the first image in my head when I wake up each morning," the blonde declared to the other man. "It's been that way since our shared school days."

Draco raised his right hand to Potter's face. With a hiss of an inhale, Potter's eyes fluttered close, waiting for a soft caress that never came. Opening his eyes in confusion, he caught the last of 'Draco' disappearing into mist.

"Izzi!" Gabi scolded in a harsh whisper. "What happened?"

"What?" the twin asked, giggling. "I was trying to keep from laughing. Either way, it would had ended up with the incantation being disrupted before Potter left. And this way our cover won't get blown."

"Oh, I think our cover was blown anyway," Gabi stated, arching one silver eyebrow.

"You really think he would guess-" Izzi started.

"ISABELLA! GABRIELLA!" their professor bellowed at the ceiling, still standing in the middle of the corridor.

"-that it was us?" she finished.

"I'm guessing so," her sister answered with a nod.

"Bloody hell," Izzi cursed under her breath.

"Come out here right this instant," Potter ordered. "If I have to go searching for you, I will take so many points from Slytherin, that you won't end the year with a positive number!"

Shrugging, the girls stepped out of the shadows, pulling their hoods from their platinum heads.

"You called, sir?" Gabi asked in an innocent tone.

"What was that stunt you just pulled?" he asked the girls as they came to a stop in front of him.

"It was amusing, that's what it was," Izzi said through a grin. The man just glared down at the girls. "Alright, alright. No need to get your knickers in a bunch. It was the _homvizum _charm."

"That's borderline Dark Arts!" Potter exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air.

"You're right, it's _borderline _Dark Arts. It isn't actually a Dark spell," Izzi pointed out as she pointed a finger at him. "Yet."

"That's right, 'yet'," he bit out. "People shouldn't be using ghost-like illusions to manipulate others."

Izzi and Gabi rolled their eyes then fixed him with an amused stare. "Tell us you didn't like it."

Potter's glare narrowed. "Fifty points from Slytherin."

He then turned on his heel and walked off down the corridor, never answering their inquiry.

Both girls sighed heavily and turned to each other. "Gods, men."

"Merlin, I wonder how much we can get for that photo," a loud whisper came from behind a suit of armor.

"Don't know, but you'd better get out of there right this moment before we hex you into next week," Izzi threatened the unknown assailants.

Almost hesitantly, two boys stepped out from behind the armor, their red hair covered in cobwebs.

"What photo are you planning on selling?" Gabi asked.

"The one that we got of your 'father' and Harry," one Gryffindor twin answered, grinning. "It would be rather amusing if it were to hit the front page."

Yet another opportunity presented itself to the Slytherin twins. Smirking, they glanced at each other and nodded in unison.

"We'll give you three galleons for that photo," Izzi offered.

"Five," the twin's brother demanded.

"Four," Gabi shot back.

"Deal," the Weasleys chimed in unison. The each shoved their hands in the direction of the girls, who looked at the hands, then at each other, then shrugged, before each taking the hand of the twin across from them. "The prints will be delivered in three to four business days and payment is requested upon delivery. It has been a pleasure doing business with you, ladies."

And with that, they turned to head on back to their Tower.

"Hey, Weasley," Izzi called. Both ginger heads swiveled to look at the blonde girls.

"Yes, Malfoy?" one boy said.

"Where's your Gryffindor loyalty? You know, to your family and friends?" the other Slytherin twin asked.

The boys looked at each other grinning. "People are always accusing mom of having an affair with one or both of our twin uncles because we act more like them than we do our dad. The Gryffindor loyalty is still there, but there's also the need to make chaos and cause trouble running through our veins. Not to mention, anything to get a laugh out of people."

As the boys turned and walked away, Izzi turned toward her sister.

"You know, they may prove to be a good resource to have in getting father and Potter together," she announced.

"I was thinking the same thing," Gabi agreed.


	5. Malfoy Rule 2

Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.

A/N: This is a fic response to the Single Father Challenge by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technically, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.

Malfoy Rule 2 - For Every Action, There is an Equal and Opposite Reaction

"Hey, Gabi," Izzi said one morning as they sat at breakfast. Her twin turned to see what her sister wanted. Izzi was pointing at the elegant eagle owl that was descending upon the Slytherin table, a red envelope attached to its leg. "Is that what I think it is?"

"If you're thinking it's daddy's owl carrying a Howler, then yes, it is what you think it is," Gabi replied, grimacing.

Without landing, the owl dropped their mail on the table in front of them and flew out one of many windows with dozens of other owls. The girls just stared at the offending parchment as many of their housemates announced their unfortunate predicament.

"Open it," Gabi urged.

"You open it," Izzi retorted.

"How 'bout we open it together?" they resolved at the same time. Nodding, they each took one side of the envelope, at which point it began to unfold and refold upon itself, forming the vicious mouth and tongue that was a Howler.

"ISABELLA ANNAMARIE MALFOY!!! GABRIELLA MARYANNE MALFOY!!!" their father's voice bellowed through the Great Hall. The girls glanced at each other; he _never_ used their middle names, _ever_. If the use of said names was being implemented, then there was no doubt in their minds that they had pissed their father off beyond words. "I HAVE RECEIVED AN OWL FROM YOUR PROFESSOR, DETAILING YOUR MALICIOUS BEHAVIOR TOWARD HIM!!! I THOUGHT I HAVE TOLD YOU TWO A MILLION TIMES BEFORE: SUCH BEHAVIOR IS VULGAR AND IS UNACCEPTABLE FROM YOUNG LADIES; ESPECIALLY YOUNG _MALFOYS_. AS PUNISHMENT, YOU TWO WILL HAVE YOUR ALLOWANCES SUSPENDED FOR TWO MONTHS AND I HAVE TOLD SEVERUS TO GIVE YOU A MONTH'S DETENTION!!!! AND IF I HEAR THAT YOU CAST SUCH A SPELL _EVER_ AGAIN, YOU WILL BE WITHDRAWN FROM SCHOOL FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE YEAR!!"

With that, the parchment ripped itself to shreds, causing red confetti to rain down over their breakfast.

"You think he actually meant it about the detention?" Izzi mused aloud.

"Merlin, I certainly hope not," Gabi added.

"And the withdrawal?"

"He's not man enough to do _that_."

"I can't believe that he sent an owl to father," Izzi complained, glaring up at the Head Table, where Potter sat, smirking down at the Slytherins.

"This calls for a completely maniacal plot," Gabi announced to her sister.

Izzi looked at her silver eyed twin. "The photo?"

"The photo."

The Weasleys had given them the photo just that morning, so it lay hidden in Gabi's pocket as they made a quick trip to the owlery before heading back to the Slytherin dungeons. Smirking to themselves, the twins sent a school owl with the magical photo after tying it with a black string.

"How long do you think it will take to get there?" Izzi wondered aloud.

"Too long," Gabi answered.

-------------

A few days passed and the girls seemed to follow their father's orders and left their teacher alone, for the most part. Of course, there was always an impulse to get under his skin, which they did on a regular basis.

The detention they were dealt was with Severus in the potions class since he was still the potions master as well as headmaster. Of course, they didn't do work, simply sat around and chatted with their 'Uncle Sev'.

It wasn't until the fourth day that they finally got their results of the sent photo.

The Gryffindor twins approached them after the girls' last class as they were heading toward their common room. The boys didn't seem happy, but they also didn't seem angry, so the Slytherins weren't sure what the meeting was about.

"What did you do with that picture we sold you?" one boy asked.

"Why's it any concern to you?" one girl asked.

"Well, if it had anything to do with Aunt Ginny breaking up with Harry," the other boy answered. "Then it is our concern, seeing as how he was almost like family."

The girls looked at each other then back to the boys. "Yes, we sent it to your aunt, got a problem with that?"

The boys smirked to each other. "Nope." Receiving a questioning look for this answer, they continued. "If our father had his heart set on someone who was already in a relationship, then we'd do anything to pry the two apart. From there we'd get our father together with the now dumped. Anyway, this little situation is kinda funny, if you think about it."

"It is, isn't it?" Izzi grinned at her sister. "Two - well, four - eleven-year-old children pulling _the_ wizard of our time from the one he thinks he loves so that he can fall in love with said children's father; it is quite a story. I wonder how much the _Daily Prophet _would pay for it."

"Whatever it is, we'll split it with ya," one Gryffindor twin offered.

"Done," the Slytherin twins agreed in harmony. Again, they shook on their agreement. "So when should this story be sent to the _Prophet_?"

"When it is most profitable to us," one red-headed boy answered.

"You mean when they can't deny it?" Gabi replied, smirking.

"Yep."

"And how did you not end up in Slytherin?"

The boys looked at each other as if searching for the answer. "We're not entirely sure, because those Gryffindors - don't get us wrong, we love them - but they can be kinda…wet noodles."

"They can be what?" Izzi asked.

"I think they're Muggle referencing at us," Gabi suggested. "I think they have some sort of a Muggle-born mother."

"Yeah, darn Muggles, always confusing you purebloods," the twin on the girls' right answered. The girls laughed at this. "Anyway, you'll have a Muggle-born mother if your plans succeed."

"What are you talking about, he is _not_ going to be called 'mother' or 'mommy'." Izzi sounded almost offended. It was the smirk that gave her away. "Nope, he's male, therefore he'll be…Ugh, I guess he can be 'Harry' or…oh, we don't use 'Papa'. He can be that. Papa."

"C'mon, Izzi, that's not the reason you'll not call him 'mommy'," Gabi scoffed, nudging her sister in the ribs. "It's because daddy will most likely be the more feminine one in the relationship. What do they call that? Bottom?"

Izzi snorted at this as the boys looked on in confusion.

"Izzi!" Gabi gasped. "A Malfoy should _never_ snort! It's unbecoming!"

"Yeah, Izzi, don't want to be un-Malfoy," the Gryffindors jeered together, discarding their confusion in favor of a jest.

"And what, may I ask, is two of my first years doing chatting idly with a couple of Gryffindors?" a voice asked from behind the girls.

"I was wondering what the Slytherin Head of House was doing in Gryffindor territory," a voice sounded from behind the boys. "Obviously looking for these two trouble makers, I guess."

"Just for info, _Potter_, we were having a torrid love affair, which you rudely interrupted," Izzi spat at the man behind the boys. "Isn't that right boys?"

"Yeah," they chimed in unison. "What do you think about that, _Snape_?"

The men rolled their eyes at each other over the first years' heads.

"Whatever, just scurry and get to your own common rooms before I land you with a whole bunch of homework," Potter threatened.

"I can take care of my own students, thank you, professor," Severus sneered at the younger man. "Come, Izzi, Gabi. We mustn't keep your homework waiting."

"Okay, Uncle Severus," the girls pouted. With a playful blown kiss to the boys, they chorused, "'Night, Weasley."

"'Night, Malfoy," they called back.

As Izzi and Gabi made their way down the hall with Severus, they could hear Potter chiding the boys for ''parading around' with Slytherins and what would their parents say?'


	6. Disciplinary Meeting

Title: Daddy Needs to Get Laid

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything relating to the Harry Potter world does not belong to me.

A/N: This is a fic response to the Single Father Challenge by koolanimefreek on thesilversnitch, so technically, the idea of the plot doesn't even belong to me. But nonetheless, it is halfway decent, and I hope you like it.

Disciplinary Meeting

"Oh, hello, daddy." Gabi smiled up at her father as she descended the stairs with her sister and into the Slytherin common room. The visit was unexpected; they had served their month's'detention' without another word from their father. There didn't seem to be any reason for this visit. Or, at least, not to the girls.

"What are you doing here?" Izzi asked, smiling just as broadly.

Draco just looked down at his girls, and then opened his arms, inviting them into a hug. The girls rushed him, throwing their frail arms around him and squeezing him. He gave each girl a kiss to the forehead before pulling out of their arms to look down at them again.

"I was owled and requested to have a parent/teacher meeting," he said, shrugging out of his travel cloak and walking over to the cloak rack, where he hung it neatly over one outstretched arm.

His words caught the attention of many of the Slytherins relaxing in the common room. It had been a long time since a parent was called in for a parent/teacher meeting, and that the student that time hadn't been in Slytherin.

"By?" the girls asked cautiously.

Draco's eyes narrowed on the girls; _that_ never happened for as long as the twins could remember. "Professor Potter."

"Why would he owl you?" Izzi asked her father. "We haven't done anything _that_ bad in a while."

"I hear that you set it up so that a whole wing of the Weasley's house exploded so that he would have no where to go for Christmas holiday," Draco stated. The girls' eyes instantly found something rather interesting on the floor.

"Oh, that," Gabi muttered.

"Gabi! We could've tried to play innocent!" Izzi scolded at her sister.

"Yes, that!" their father exclaimed. "And, no, you couldn't 'play innocent'. I know perfectly well that you're are no such thing." Draco sighed. "Girls, what am I going to do with you?"

"Not withdraw us?" Izzi offered with a smile.

"No, I wasn't planning on withdrawing you, anyway," Draco admitted.

"Really?" the girls asked in unison.

"Of course not," he answered. "I'm not an evil bastard."

"Dang," Izzi sighed.

"Merlin, you two remind me of myself when I was your age," Draco said, rubbing his eyes. "Only you don't have the excuse that I did. Now, c'mon, I was supposed to be at his classroom ten minutes ago, but I have no clue where it is. You two will have to show me."

"Does this mean we are to attend the meeting too?" Gabi asked with a quick glance at her sister.

"I don't know," Draco answered, looking around the common room. "There was no mention one way or the other in the message he sent, so I guess we'll just have to find out when we get there."

"Alright," the girls sighed.

"Okay, well, lead the way," Draco ordered.

With that, Gabi and Izzi lead their father from the common room and out into the corridors, walking toward the Entrance Hall and the stairs that would take them into Gryffindor territory.

"So, where is his classroom?" Draco wondered. "When I came here, it was always on the first floor."

"In the heart of Gryffindor territories," Izzi answered. "Obviously he gets special treatment for being a celebrity."

Draco rolled his eyes and sighed again. "Don't bring that up in front of him, please. He really doesn't like the whole fame thing."

Izzi shrugged and Gabi rolled her own eyes. "Fine."

The trek up to the umpteenth floor of the castle in search for the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom wasn't long, but by all means, it wasn't short either. Many students who passed them in the hallways stared in aw at the twins' father or tried their damnedest not to make eye contact. Of course, the other students' parents would probably have told horror stories of Draco Malfoy in his Hogwarts days, but they had no idea that the Draco from then and the Draco now were to completely different people.

"Is it just me, or are the other students afraid of daddy?" Gabi mused as another Gryffindor dove into an alcove before having to confront the trio. "I mean that makes three Gryffindors, one Slytherin - sodding wuss - half dozen Ravenclaw, and most of the Hufflepuffs."

"I guess their parents have shared their stories of their own years at Hogwarts," Draco explained. "I don't blame the students for behaving in this way; I was an arse to most of their parents. Either that, or they think I'm just like my father."

"Merlin, these people are crazy, " Izzi stated. "Oh, this is it, father."

The girls stopped in front of the classroom that their father had been summoned to.

"I suddenly don't want to go in there," the ex-Slytherin confessed. "Do you think he'd notice if I just left and think I ignored his summon?"

"Uh--" Gabi started, but a voice on the other side of the door cut her off.

"Malfoy, you can come right in," their professor called. "And you can bring those hellions in if you want."

"I don't think you're getting out of this one," Izzi commented as Draco opened the door, allowing his daughters to enter before he walked into the room himself.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, I'm glad you could make it," Potter announced as he stood from his seat at his desk. He waited for his guests to join him at his desk before he took his seat again. "I am sure you know that your daughters have been nothing but trouble from day one--"

"That's not true!" Izzi interjected. "We didn't do anything on the first day - er, that you know of."

"And what is your teacher not aware of?" Draco asked.

"Er-um," Gabi stammered. "We were formulating plots and plans."

"See: trouble from day one," Potter pointed out. The girls sneered at him even as their father glared at them. "Now, as I was saying, they haven't been anything but trouble and I have called you here today to see if there's something we can do about it. Maybe a form of discipline that will be effective since the allowance suspension and detentions did nothing to improve their behavior."

"I agree," Draco sighed, rolling his eyes away from his girls. "Believe me, they weren't raised to be so Slytherin. To be honest, they way I raised them, you'd almost think they'd be put into Hufflepuff. I don't know how exactly the words or messages altered during the journey from my lips to their ears."

"So," Potter said, steepling his fingers that reminded Draco of his Headmaster. "Am I to assume that Isabella and Gabriella were _actually_ telling the truth when they claimed that their father wasn't the total git I remembered him to be."

The girls noticed their father flush slightly. "Yeah, they were telling the truth. It's not often that they do such a thing, but I have come to learn that if it's about me, they won't lie."

The teacher stared at the father, calculations reflected in his eyes. Draco tried very hard not to meet that gaze, and Potter noticed this. Finally, he dropped his gaze to the papers in front of him.

"Anyway, I guess we'll have to create a punishment," Potter commented, glancing at the twins. "Could you two step out for a few moments while your father and I go over some disciplines that may help?"

Izzi and Gabi sighed as the stood from their chairs. "I guess, Potter."

"Sir," their teacher corrected absentmindedly as they walked across the room to the door.

"No need to call us 'sir', professor," Izzi commented with a close of the door.

-------------

"Aw, Merlin," Izzi complained. "I think they're _actually_ talking about discipline."

The banished Slytherins leaned against the door, ears pressed firmly into the wood.

"I don't know, Izzi," Gabi whispered. She pushed harder against the door. "I don't think it's the kind of punishment a teacher would give a student. I mean, since when has a professor been allowed to tie their naughty student to his bedposts?"

"Good point," her sister replied, grinning as the sound of nervous laughter emanated from the room. "Father's gonna be punished for being an arse when he was younger."

"That's good for him," Gabi insisted. "He's just too tense; he needs to get laid, to unwind. It's been so long since he's been genuinely happy. I'll be glad to see that daddy again."

"Me, too," Izzi sighed.

Suddenly, all conversation and noise from within the room came to a stop. No scraping of chairs on stone; no laughter; no talk of 'punishment'. Nothing.

The twins looked at each other, the same questioning expression shadowing their identical faces. Hesitantly, Gabi reached for the handle of the door and pulled. Nothing. She rattled it a few more times with more enthusiasm. Still no give.

"It's locked," Izzi stated the obvious. "And there's a silencing charm."

"He's gonna rape our daddy," Gabi giggled. In any other context, that comment would have been taken seriously.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Izzi asked, joining in her twin's giggle fit.

Gabi shook her head. "No. But you'd think he'd at least whisk daddy off to his bed chambers."

Izzi shrugged. "Oh well."

With a look of pure genius - or evil, whichever you wish to view it - Gabi quickly pulled the knot of her tie from her neck until it was draped over her fingers. Smirking, she looped the silver and green silk fabric around the handle, tying it in an untidy knot so it wouldn't slip off.

Izzi bit her lip as she giggled at her sister's actions.

"Shall we?" Gabi asked, gesturing in the direction of the Great Hall. "I do believe dinner will start any moment."

"We shall," Izzi smirked. Together, the Slytherin twins waltzed down to the Great Hall. They didn't need to worry about their father; he'd be occupied with the 'disciplinary meeting' long enough for them to get dinner and do whatever homework had been assigned for that weekend, of that they were sure.

_Fins_


End file.
